The salad you dream about in prison

The salad you dream about in prison

Taking the local sub is always an adventure, and my ears always perk at conversations about food.

thug #1: man Holmes, the whole time I was in prison I thought about this salad

thug #2: a salad man? That salad must be dope

thug #1: dope. The first thing I did when I got out on parole is make this salad

thug #2: seriously man? That salad must be dope!

thug #1: dope man. All it is is fresh cucumbers and tomatoes sliced. Squeeze of lime and cilantro too. It’s dope man.

thug #2: Seriously dope man

thug #1: shit so dope, it got my girl on her back, yo

thug #2: got her on her back? That’s a dope salad

thug #1: so dope. I made it up, she ate it up, she got on her back, we ate some more, and she got on her back more

thug #2: got on her back? Sounds like a pussy salad. That dope!

thug #1: shit ain’t a pussy salad. It’s a fucking cucumber tomato salad. And it’s dope.

< end scene >

There are 2 things definitely missing from my life right now: cucumber tomato salad, and a trusty side kick. Taking applications for a homie to repeat every sentence I say, with “dope” every other word.

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